Beyond the Fantasy: A Black Gay Man's Truth About Racial Fetishization

The men who said they wanted me were often the same men who saw me as a stereotype. They wanted the "e;Mandingo"e; in the bedroom and crossed the street to avoid the same man in daylight.In Beyond the Fantasy, I write about racial fetishization in gay dating and hookup culture as a Black gay man who has lived it. I tell the story of a hookup in the Bronx that ended with a false assault charge, a $5,000 lawyer, three hours in holding and three months of court before the charges were dropped. I write about the profiles asking for "e;BBC,"e; the men who wanted race play and the N-word, and the partners who were let down when I told them I'm passionate, not aggressive.I also look at where these scripts come from: porn, dating apps built for snap judgments, and a history that runs back through lynching and the Scottsboro case. Then I write about what real intimacy looks like when a man is curious about who you are.This book is for white gay men willing to look hard at their own attractions, for Black gay men who are tired of performing, and for anyone who wants our community to stop treating Black men as a fantasy.