Crossing the Deserts of Life

I meditated on how I could establish a relationship with God. Ive come to believe that it was necessary for me to encountered my past so that I would eventually seek Him. In my life experiences I've always found myself wandering and alone, with no one to give me guidance or encouragement. It seemed like I was bewildered and lost as I trudged through my life. My desert-like crossings were emotionally and mentally exhausting, but turn out to be a learning experience.I learnedto journal some episodes of my past and this book is the reward ofdoing that. I'm sometimesable to see the error of my ways and now am capable to pray forchange,and notmake the same mistakes again. I've come to a place in my life where I can seemy emotional and spiritual growth from my book.I saw, how, attimeI was self-absorbed and I did not trustanyone, not even God. I'm able toreflect back on the struggles and confusion of my adolescent,not knowing what direction to take, never making rational decisions.Some of my experiences led me deep into the deserts andmade me considerturning my life over to God. Never did Irealized that these difficulties would catapult me to a spiritual dimension that revealed God's love forme. Godstill continues to develop and mature myrelationship with Him. I concluded that as long as I stayed self-reliant and self-centered, I would be distantfrom God, then my relationship with others willremainempty and desolate like a desert. Because of His unconditional love for me, He has led me to a place of rest and restoration, away from the confusion in my desert, an oasis in the Desert.