30 Days of Belief Work

In recent years, boundaries have become a hot topic. It makes sense: boundaries have always been critical to a functional and happy life, but with the advent of social media, it's only gotten harder and harder to maintain appropriate boundaries.

Boundaries are the invisible, energetic lines that separate us from one another. They separate your emotions from my emotions; your responsibilities from everyone else's responsibilities.

If you ever feel like a doormat, saying yes when you wish you could say no, you probably have a boundaries problem.

If you find yourself wishing you could change those around you, that is a boundaries problem.

If you find yourself blaming those around you for your emotions, or holding yourself responsible for other people's emotions, that is a boundaries problem.

There are two primary kinds of bad boundaries: taking too much responsibility for other people, and not taking enough responsibility for oneself. We can't control others, and we are not responsible for them or their choices or actions. We ARE in charge of ourselves, and we do need to control ourselves. We are responsible for ourselves and our own actions and choices.

This is the essence of good boundaries: taking full responsibility for the things that fall into your realm of responsibility, and allowing others to take full responsibility (or not) for the things that fall into their realm of responsibility.

One reason why this can be so difficult is that it's hard to see people reject their own responsibilities. We are all responsible for our own emotional states, for example: but it can be really painful to watch other people neglect their responsibility to address and manage their own emotions. It can be hard to watch people neglect their responsibilities to their families, to their physical environments, and to themselves. We can feel that urge to force the ones we care about to exercise, or clean, or do their jobs. Or we could manifest bad boundaries by just doing things for those other people. "If you don't take care of your own responsibility, I'll take care of it for you!"

On the other hand, sometimes we are the ones blaming others for our responsibility failures. If we feel emotionally upset, we'll blame someone else for our feelings, instead of taking responsibility for our feelings and looking within to discover what false beliefs and unresolved emotions we haven't addressed yet. If we are not fulfilling our responsibilities around the house, for example, we might look at the others in our household and bitterly conclude that if only they would step up then we could step up.

But all of that is just giving our personal power away.

Boundaries come in two parts: owning our own personal power, and allowing others to own their personal power too... even if they choose not to own it themselves. Part of having and honoring strong personal boundaries is allowing other people to fail within the realm of their own responsibilities.

This book explores what boundaries are and what boundaries we need in our lives to be happy and healthy--and then transitions into a workbook that will help you heal up unhealthy boundaries and create strong, new, healthy boundaries. You will see for yourself how after just a few minutes a day for 30 days, you will see and experience life in a whole new more positive way.