Stanley Evil

Stanley Evil GWRogers

William Jones is a witch, he has no idea he is a witch, but he is anyway. His father suspected he had been dropped on his head as a child, however whenever he had the chance to say so in mixed company it was never well received ... Ian Finch is a witch, he has no idea he is a witch, if you had walked up to him in the street and said "you know what old Finchie, I think you're a witch" he would laugh in your face, he knew how the world worked, it all worked by the numbers, there's nothing that can't be explained but without numbers says Ian ... Colin Orville is a witch, he has no idea he is a witch, in his mind he is just who he is, most people would call him a stuck-up wanker, mostly because he is. He's a terrible, terrible narcissist, but for some reason women and animals love him, no-one is really quite sure why ... Harry probably isn't a witch, we don't really know, but what everyone does know is that Harry is very ordinary, as a matter-of-fact Harry is so ordinary that if he went in a competition for being the most ordinary person ever, he would finish somewhere in the middle ... Samantha Mae is a bitch, a witch? - don't be ridiculous, pointy hats, warts on the nose, cackling laugh. Although when she gets in a few Proseccos she must be careful not to snort when she laughs, she also makes a funny noise when she orgasms, but you wouldn't really call that a cackle.

We are at war and now it's time for you to take your rightful places, the power of female amplification and the legacy of destiny. We are desperate - the battles over bad politics, all the internet trolling, the seeding of malcontent - we don't know where it's coming from, and it's getting the better of us, society is losing control. We had to take action to protect our linage, or we may die out and all could be lost, this plane of existence would falter, or at least would be inundated by vegans, no joy in that world I can tell you. So, it's time to bring the parts together from afar, reassembling our weapon in secret to blast our enemies back to hell.

But Stan-ley-Evil is not who you think he is, in so, so many ways...