Stay Chill

Stay Chill Efficiency Bear's Zen of Zero

In a Britain where the National Grid charges you for the privilege of existing, Arthur Pringle just wanted to pay his bill and stay warm.

Instead, he met Efficiency Bear - the government's cheerful, wide-smiling mascot who appears in every official leaflet, every smart meter notification, and every bedtime broadcast telling citizens to "reduce comfort, increase efficiency."

When Arthur tries to do everything right - foam his floors, boil exactly 200ml of water, and earn his Efficiency Credits - the system doesn't reward him. It punishes him with higher standing charges, "Premium Eco-Elite" surcharges, and a Correction Officer who wants to recalibrate his soul.

But in the freezing dark, Arthur discovers something the algorithm never planned for: a flickering candle, a crackling radio signal, and a bear whose permanent smile might not be so innocent after all.

Talk to my hand.

A razor-sharp, laugh-out-loud dystopian satire that will leave you colder than your heating bill - and strangely tempted to burn your smart meter.

"The most dangerously funny book about Net Zero you'll read this year."