The 11 Vows of Intentional Partnership

Long-term love isn't supposed to feel like walking on eggshells or slowly drifting into roommate status.
It's meant to grow you. To ground you. To feel like home-even when life gets hard.

The 11 Vows of Intentional Partnership is a real, honest roadmap for what happens after the honeymoon ends. Written by trauma specialist and educator Trey Malicoat, M.S., this book doesn't romanticize partnership-it respects it. It walks you straight into the real questions:

• What do you do when the chemistry fades?

• How do you stay when leaving might be easier?

• How do you repair after disappointment, disconnection, or years of just "getting by"?

Rooted in nervous-system science, decades of clinical work, and Trey's own lived experience, this book reframes long-term love as a series of intentional vows-not just words you say once, but practices you return to over and over again:

1. The Vow of Presence - Show up, even when you'd rather shut down.

2. The Vow of Maintenance - Tend to love before it breaks.

3. The Vow of Tending - Process your pain; don't weaponize it.

4. The Vow of Renewal - Keep choosing each other, not just the memory.

5. The Vow of Sacred Selfishness - You can't pour from an empty cup.

6. The Vow of Ugliness - Let your partner see you at your worst.

7. The Vow of Boredom - Treat the ordinary as sacred.

8. The Vow of Forgiveness - Release resentment or let it kill you.

9. The Vow of Desire - Prioritize touch, even when you're tired.

10. The Vow of Protection - Defend your partnership from the world.

11. The Vow of Legacy - Build something worth remembering.

Inside, you'll find:

• Straight-talking insight about why the honeymoon has to end-and why that's actually sacred.

• Stories from real couples navigating boredom, resentment, grief, desire, and repair.

• Nervous-system-aware guidance that helps you understand why you shut down, explode, or disappear-and how to do something different.

• Practical frameworks, reflection prompts, and "try this in real life" practices you can start using today.

This book is for you if:

• You love your partner, but you feel lonely, tired, or disconnected in the relationship.

• You feel more like co-parents or co-managers than lovers or friends.

• You're rebuilding after a hard season-betrayal, loss, illness, financial strain, or emotional disconnection.

• You're a queer couple or a non-traditional partnership and you're tired of relationship advice that doesn't see you.

Whether you read it alone, together, or with a therapist, The 11 Vows of Intentional Partnership will help you interrupt the slow fade, name what's really happening between you, and begin building a partnership that is conscious, resilient, and deeply human-one intentional vow at a time.