The Statistical Unicorn

22 suspensions. Two permanent exclusions. One EHCP. One child still asking to go to school.

The Statistical Unicorn is the true story of a bright, funny, football-loving boy with Special Educational Needs who entered secondary school already needing support - and almost immediately began collecting sanctions.

Detentions. Isolation. Lost breaks. Lost PE. Suspensions.

Sometimes for behaviour linked to the very needs his EHCP was supposed to support.

CM was academically able, sociable, fiercely independent and desperate to stay in mainstream education. He loved maths, music, football, facts and dreamed of becoming a lawyer.

But as the behaviour records grew, the child behind them became harder to see.

When does support become punishment?
When does dysregulation become "defiance"?
And how does a supported SEN child end up with 22 suspensions and two permanent exclusions?

This memoir follows one mother through EHCPs, SEND provision, behaviour policies, alternative provision, reintegration, permanent exclusion and disability-discrimination proceedings.

It is heartbreaking, infuriating and often very funny.

Above all, it asks one question:

How did we get from "this child needs help" to "this child is the problem"?

For parents navigating SEND, EHCPs, school exclusion, autism, neurodiversity, giftedness and the fight for mainstream education.

Because behind every behaviour point, attendance percentage and exclusion decision is still a child.

Welcome to The Statistical Unicorn.