Waking From A Seductive Fantasy

Waking From A Seductive Fantasy chronicles Lana Gutman's cathartic journey following the devastating loss of her spouse, celebrated musician David Maestro, who died by suicide. Lana's husband was a popular, admired entertainer notorious for his romantic entanglements and multitude of groupies. When they married, Lana discovered David's traumatic history through his recurring nightmares and increasing depression. They saw multiple therapists specializing in depressive disorders, yet David rejected their advice, choosing to self-medicate with marijuana, alcohol, and even womanizing.

Lana believes she maintained a paranormal connection with David, and sensed him in her home as cold energy. There was another presence lingering with David, and it felt menacing. Lana wondered if this other entity was linked to her husband's violent past in San Quentin Penitentiary, where he was sentenced to life for murder. David's music kept him alive while he was incarcerated. He recruited other prison musicians to form a group called "The Contraband," and they opened for entertainers visiting the penitentiary. David was given a chance to record his own songs which were highly praised by professionals in the music industry. After being paroled for good behavior, he rarely capitalized on the success of his album, and played small clubs, collecting women like souvenirs in a hedonistic existence.

The hopelessness and despair that plagued David is already a national epidemic, and Lana's goal in sharing his life is to expose the crisis of clinical depression insidiously poisoning our loved ones, as it did to her beloved Maestro. Lana writes intimately about the universal themes and insight gained from her spiritual encounter with David, and the transcendent odyssey they took together.