Why Is My Brain and Bank Account Both Empty?

You used to have a functioning brain. You used to have a bank balance. Neither of them made it out alive - and this book is here to help you laugh about it instead of cry about it. Again.

Why Is My Brain and Bank Account Both Empty? is a wildly unscientific, deeply relatable field guide for anyone running on caffeine, willpower, and whatever's left in their account after the school fundraiser. Inside, you'll find:

• Ten chapters of brutally accurate one-liners about brain fog, empty wallets, and the special exhaustion of modern adulthood
• A day-in-the-life diary of a totally depleted human
• Two completely unscientific diagnostic quizzes
• Fill-in-the-blank confessions, worksheets, and a "budget" that is mostly fiction
• A Certificate of Survival, suitable for framing (or immediately losing)

This is not a self-help book. It will not fix your finances or your memory. But it will make you laugh, make you feel seen, and make an excellent gift for the exhausted parent, broke twenty-something, or beautifully depleted adult in your life - including yourself.